Love 💕

Today is Valentines Day, I can’t think of a better day to ponder those we love and what they mean to us (except maybe every day if you are into mindfulness, lol)!

From the day that this all began for me I have been shown nothing but love from everyone I know and care about. First and foremost my husband, Patrick. I called him at work crying when I heard the words “mass in your brain” and he immediately stepped into “let me help and do something” mode. He has given me the space to sort through this muddled mess of a time, all while being mostly patient with me. I’m not sure how I would have handled this if the shoe were on the other foot. What I do know is that I am happy to have him by my side sharing in all of it, the good, bad, ugly, etc… (isn’t there a song about that)?

Let’s talk about friends and how many of my friends have let me bend their ear with way too many details about this whole rigamarole and never once said “enough of all this”! Nope, instead they sent me cards, jewelry, bread pudding, accompanied me on hikes at my favorite spot, met me for tea/juice/lunch, gotten me out of the house and out of my own downward spirals and lifted me with positive thoughts and told me to keep fucking going. I truly am so grateful for all these beautiful people and moments that I have been able to share in the past two months.

So this is where I will admit that I have not done a great job of making friends at work. I am friendly, but I am not one to go out with people from work. I don’t do happy hour, casino runs, dinners, wine parties, really anything outside of coming in and doing my job with a smile and heading home. So it has been particularly incredible to me how many coworkers have shown me immense amounts of kindness. Today one of my coworkers brought me her recently deceased mothers prayer shawl. I can’t imagine how special that must be to her and she really wanted me to have it.

Another coworker gave me a very special medallion, it belonged to a patient and was gifted to her. When I shared with her what was happening with me she didn’t hesitate, she put her hand in her pocket and pulled out Father Baker, she told me to pray to him, I’m not one to argue with friends so I did as I was instructed. I may have rubbed his face off on the plane ride to NYC, which was the most turbulent flight I have ever been on.

Last but certainly not least has been my family, constantly calling and checking on me, signing me up for restorative yoga because they know I need it, offering to take care of my kids so I can go to appointments, second opinions and maybe Costa Rica for a week!

A friend recently posted an article on Facebook that was entitled “Wanna feel loved? Get cancer”. It was a good article and hit home for me. After I started to share with friends what was happening with me I had more invitations to lunch, coffee, drinks than I have since I was a mom (you know the good old days where your calendar isn’t booked up with all your children’s activities). I’m not complaining, I love to chat with friends and catch up. What did strike me though was how sad I felt that this really is what our culture has come to, we are all so busy (I’m not excluding myself from this) that we don’t have enough time to fit in all the things we would love to do, and often that means friends get short changed. For every friend, colleague, patient, family member who has taken time out of your day to just shoot me a few moments of your day I want you to know I appreciate it, I see you and I know that I am loved and so are you. 💕